Michel and Sarah's Excellent Adventures

It's the holidays so its common to feel like shit. I have compiled some quotes that I think are funny. I got stuck on Mark Twain obviously. I often have dragged through the holidays crying and annoying my family. This year, only the ghost of sad Christmases past floated by. I mean I only felt a passing sadness and a fraction of what I had felt before.  Major emotions used to hit and wouldn't leave for days, like unwelcome family.  I would like to remind any one that has trouble with holidays that you are not alone. Or at least distract yourselves with these fun quotes. Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. Benjamin Franklin If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide. Mahatma Gandhi We have the best government that money can buy. Mark Twain I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. Mark Twain Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no ...

Hi. I just disembarked from a trip to Munich Germany. Despite anxiety about the long plane trip as well as anxiety about trains and automobile rides.  Amazingly, I did just fine. I can thank my mom for taking me and my brother and his wife Caroline for the best hospitality I have ever experienced. But I used one Valium and a lot of alcohol throughout. I was unable to procure anti anxiety drugs. My Dr. prescribed me six lorazepam in case of emergency. But they expired and I was too afraid to take them.  My dad told me he was able to get me Valium. When he finally handed it over, it was one pill. He had no info on the amount of mg. I looked it up and it looked like 5mgs. I split it in half brought it in case.  I did take a half upon sitting in the plane seat and two glasses of wine. This I was told would be an ok combo.  Plus I watched the most questionable movie on my own monitor, Entourage.  I continually had to block the sex scenes with a book I b...

This Saturday the Chicago Humanities festival hosted Salman Rushdie. He won this year's Chicago Tribune Literary Award . Rushdie was interviewed by Bruce Dold of the Chicago Tribune .  His new book is titled Two Years Eight Months and Twenty-Eight Days , a reference to the story Scheherazade , the name of a woman who had to tell stories for 1001 nights or she would be killed.  Rushdie explained that his father, Anis, changed his last name a long time ago to the name of a 12th century philosopher because he admired his progressive views.  Ironically that philosopher pissed off the powers that were. I used to think his name sounded like he was in a rush to die. Rushdie also talked about the years he had to travel under heavy security. In 1989 the Ayatollah Khomeini issued a Fatwa condemning Rushdie for writings deemed anti-Muslim. He talked about how he was once going to be picked up in New York by a long motorcade and stretch bulletproof limo. He thought that this just d...

A stylist came over to look into my closet and sort the good, the bad, and the ugly. It has been said that this stylist makes fun of clothes if it is necessary. Michel needs no help. He is perfect. See pic. Only thing is he was dressed like that when we went camping. Once, not that long ago, I was standing on the corner of Milwaukee and Wolcott, in Chicago, waiting for a taco to go. These two ladies approached me and asked, "Do you work here?" I said yes, because I worked on that block. They said, "So do we. Aren't they cracking down lately?" I almost fainted. They told me I could walk with them and work with them. They told me that customers often liked a black girl and a white girl. (They were black.) It was popular, they said, the combo pack. I excused myself after our five minute meeting that included a lot of terminology that I was not familiar with. I ran home, crying and laughing at the same time. So if that is not a reason to have a stylist, w...

The plot of our first adventure featured people cheating on each other, or trying to.  Some young teenaged boy reading a letter of his rude feelings to a grown-ass woman. The woman disrobes him, dresses him in drag, disrobes him again. Her husband knocks, so the teenager jumps out a window. Here is the link of the teenager singing about his gross teenage feelings https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfxiEhFust4 The role of the teenaged boy is traditionally played by a woman, for the higher voice and smaller size. But at first I thought Mozart was very progressive and that it was a woman that kept sneaking in to women's rooms and professing her feelings. I accept that Mozart is a genius after seeing "The Marriage of Figaro" On Sunday, Grace, her mom, a friend and I saw Patti Smith talk about her new book.

Michel and I volunteered at a homeless shelter. It was our first time. We signed up for the dinner shift. It was in the basement of a church in Berwyn. Almost every person I told after had already done it and PADS has it down to every detail. I am not sure how its funded. I will ask. We got there at the appointed time and were introduced to a woman who was the "site captain" I said "Cool" she said "No it really isn't. She told us to sit down and relax as the doors would not open for some time. She sat next to us and played "candy crush saga" as we watched from around her shoulder. Someone had already laid out mattresses with sheets folded on top of them. And taken out all the plastic serving utensils. I thought we would cook but someone shows up with a hot tray of Mostaccioli at just the right time. When the doors opened ten people immediately came in. It was hard to tell the homeless from just more volunteers. The homeless all knew what to d...

We went to a wedding on Saturday night 9-19-15. Kary and Tony, at Fitzgerald's a couple blocks from my home. The invitation said to dress country casual. I didn't read that till a couple hours before. But this is the country taste of people who announce in their wedding that they believe that marriage is a universal right and they are happy to marry in a world where all l.g.b.q. t. (and I felt I heard some new letters) can get married. This was said by the minister and I felt I could hear Kary clearly in the things that were said. I love that Kary is always thinking of the world around her. She was in the peace corps as a young adult and is now a counselor. She has read about the different world religions and likes to talk about any topic. The minister also said that the couple met here at this bar, several years ago (Both are country music fans and now are in a band together called Lonesome Still). The night they met, Tony saw Kary give her gloves to a homeless person. Ye...

For Labor day, I thought everyone else in the world was going to awesome bbq's. I asked around and everyone said they are doing "nothing" except an 84 year old party animal , who is going to a bbq. Michel and I were invited to my parents for some power boozing. Kidding, 2 drink max.  The real reason they invited us was to help them operate their new t.v. The whole time we tried to figure out why the new digital t.v. did not work with the old v.h.s. player, they were yelling some things across the room trying to help as though we were running a dangerous obstacle course.  They are adorable.  Michel is trying to memorize 100 poems and his latest is "To the virgins to make much of time" By Robert Herrick, a 17th century English poet. The poem starts "Gather ye rosebuds while thee may" http://www.luminarium.org/sevenlit/herrick/tovirgins.htm It is essentially saying, gather stuff cuz you're going to die soon, the flowers too. Ar...

My dad brought over an article in the Chicago Tribune, about art displayed in front of houses of Oak Park, and other cities. terrainexhibitions.com Michel and I biked around Oak Park where some houses had art displayed, most on the 700 block of Highland.  Sometimes it was hard to guess which houses have art for this exhibition and which houses have just a huge balance ball in their front yard for other purposes. Then I noticed that the art always has a descriptive plaque.  This is us in front of 1157 south Taylor. Better picture and description here   http://www.terrainexhibitions.com/#!1157-south-taylor/cdpk  This sculpture in front of an Oak Park house is by Pat McDonald and is not associated with the exhibit. I think the people who bought the sculpture are visionaries and that it is a great idea to support the arts in this way. Here is a link to more info of this sculpture. http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Monumental-sculptor-Pat-McDonald.htm...

Michel has gone back to work teaching High school this week. For his last weekend of freedom I left him to do what he most wanted to do. So he went in the the basement to sculpt. He is in terrible need of a head to sculpt and no heads have volunteered so I reluctantly offered my own. As a woman who is a victim of our media and culture's war on women's self esteems, this is not my idea of a fun thing.   I tried to read "Infinite Jest" by David Foster Wallace. In other words we hid from the world as usual. He, or DFW,  was raved about in a recent class I took.  I'm arriving late to the hip party of his fandom, but I want to see what all the hubbub is about. I'm hooked. The book is as thick as a brick. But reading him or listening to him is like weight lifting for the brain.  It is hard work, but it feels like the brain is better for it. As though I feel an afterglow similar to after a run. From what I can understand The protagonist is not being u...

Amendment to an earlier thing I said: The reason I have had no or very few pictures of having fun is that I am multi-phobic. I just made that word up. I fear traveling, going fast in cars, being in small spaces, speaking in public. I used to shake visibly when talking to boys. I had a depressive period when even going to the library made me panic, for no logical reason. Taking the El, ever since riding in a smoky car made me panicky, is now a big deal. Last week I took a measly ten minute ride on the luxurious Metra, and it was the first time I did not panic. It was also the first time I took a train in years. So I, at forty-four years old, am trying to stretch my wings. Go outside my comfort zone. Yesterday,  Jeanne Wilson, my best friend, gifted me two tickets to see the Cubs. I took Michel. He too, by the way, has had bouts with anxiety, and in my opinion has not had enough fun in life. For instance, when I met him, he said he watched TV by looking out the window of h...

For the second installment of Michel and Sarah's excellent adventure, we face many fears and go see clowns perform at a cemetery. I, for one have a clown car load of phobias. The entourage (my parents) joined us. Also, it was my 44th birthday.   So, yeah, a clown made out with my dad. I had to remove the sound portion of the makeout due to the fact that I was screaming.  The mayor of Forest park spoke, a little too long. Clowns gave out toys and candy to kids and my dad wanted all the toys, leading the clowns to think he was special needs. My parents' dog was dressed in a clown collar. Notice in the video my dad says "John Wayne Gacy" after the mayor says we should recognize the great contributions clowns have given us. And they probably do give us a lot. This event was free and adorable minus the mayor with the thick Chicago accent and ulterior motives whatever they were, I don't actually know if he had motives. Sunday started with...

After finding the photos of my failed marriage and realizing that they all showed us -- my ex and I -- not having fun together,  I want to have a wonderful time with my boyfriend and save it in this scrapbook. Last night we went to see The Oak Park Festival Theater's outdoor play, "Two Gentlemen of Verona". The weather was perfect, but I was hoping it would rain because I was tired after working all day and then having a huge Straw-ber-ita in a can. The play is done with a twist every year. This year it was set in 1983. I enjoyed this twist more than last year's 1920's/Chicago or two years ago's beach theme. There were a lot of comic aspects to using the 80's. When Proteus serenaded Sylvia, he used a boom box, and Thurio did some Michael Jackson moves. This play was mostly about love, and I realized I follow Shakespeare better when it's about love than other shit. We heard a character call someone a "swarthy Ethiope". Yikes! ...